Not long ago, I wrote a song about life’s random indignities and miracles, called Locus. It began with an observation on how attention affects mood:

Life is tragic, but also magic
Where you choose to focus
Is your locus

Meaning: Wherever you focus your attention, energy flows. Focus on all the bad shit, and you’ll attract more bad shit. Focus on the good, and more good follows.

The Catch-22

The catch is that, in order to be in a state of abundant flow, first, you have to feel relatively safe and secure. This is because, as James Baldwin so eloquently explained, you can’t create when you’re constantly afraid something bad will happen.

Most people who want more good stuff to happen feel that way because they’re suffering. They need relief.

But if their surroundings keep them focused on pain and lack, it’s likely to attract more negative energy and fortune.

It’s easy to get sucked into that whirlpool. But there are some ways to resist it.

The power of a broken heart

The first step is realizing that having a broken heart isn’t a bad thing. It doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. They break to make space to hold something new.

Lick your wounds, wallow in your pain. But also inventory what you learned and express gratitude for what was good. This helps you refocus on the fact that this was the end of one chapter. If you get stuck in the past, you’ll miss the chance to walk into this next chapter with your eyes and heart wide open, ready to receive new blessings.

We’re not meant to live like porcelain figurines

The second is understanding that we’re supposed to get knocked around a little and get our hearts broken. If we never suffered, we’d never understand the value of joy.

Life is full of these kinds of contradictions:

• We can’t receive until we let go.
• We can’t have until we give.
• We can’t feel safe until we relinquish control.​

The most important survival (and thrival) strategy

We can’t survive the horrors of this world until we learn to stay soft, tender and loving despite it all.

— Truly Kristi

That’s one of life’s most difficult contradictions: If we don’t stay tender, we’ll harden. And if our heart hardens, then we become what we hate. To escape that fate, we have to act from a place of love—a difficult ask when life crushes us.

But, paradoxically, developing that ability is exactly what will keep life from breaking your heart over and over and over again.

Mend it often enough, and being in flow—even in the face of adversity—will become second nature.

Challenge: Tend your heart, mend the breaks

1. Close your eyes and focus on your breathing until you feel calm and centered.
2. Search your body for any heaviness or pain. Ask your body where the pain is coming from. What has broken your heart?
3. Take a moment to jot down any notes.
4. Now close your eyes again and focus your attention on your heart. What does it look like? Are there cracks? Is it completely shattered? Or just missing pieces?
5. Envision a warm, glowing light surrounding you and your tender heart. Use this light like glue to patch up the holes in your heart. It may not be perfect yet, but you can always come back and keep working on it.

Whenever you find yourself feeling heartsick, scared or alone, use this visualization to calm your nervous system and find a more positive locus.

That’s your challenge

Let me know how it goes! Share your thoughts and experiences below or tag @trulykristi on social channels. 🙂