If we are how we act, then what role do emotions play? Marcus Aurelius would tell you emotions are just wild horses ready to lead you to ruin. Put a bit in their mouth and rein them in. They’ll break eventually, and then you can be your own master.

But, in my experience, violent emotional repression leads to eventual disruption. Far better, then, to ride the tides of ebb and flow.

When you feel overwhelmed by emotions, remember: Everything reverts to the mean

Ten years ago, I was drowning. I couldn’t catch a breath without sobbing. My role as family breadwinner kept me trapped in a toxic work environment.

Home was no refuge, either. There, I had a front row seat to my husband’s cancer battle, which we tried to keep from our child.

Then there was the crippling money anxiety. As anyone who’s had to navigate U.S. healthcare can tell you: Dying is expensive and living costs even more.

For the first time in my life, I struggled to find joy.

Lunching with a friend, the dam broke. I confessed how underwater I felt.

“Don’t worry,” she said. “I honestly believe everything reverts to the mean. You’re all the way over here on the pendulum, but it can’t stay there forever.”

And she was right.

Surf, sink or swim

There are some moments in our lives when we just can’t catch a break. Everything seems to fall apart at once. And the rush of emotions—from rage and grief to sorrow, depression and everything in-between—pushes us far past our breaking point.

It’s a lonely place. And if you aren’t lucky enough to have an emotional support network or financial safety net, the outlook becomes bleak.

It’s in those moments that the only choice we have is how we want to go on.

There are three things you could do:

1. Sink: You can just give up.
2. Swim: You can keep treading water and hope you’ll eventually find a way out.
3. Surf: You can make the best of a bad situation by riding the tidal wave of emotions.

Remember: If nothing good lasts forever, that means nothing bad lasts either.

Eventually, every extreme—high or low—reverts to the mean.

Challenge: Learn to surf emotions

If we let ourselves dwell in the emotional depths, it’s easy to get stuck and sink. Treading water causes us to tire quickly. But riding our emotions allows us to feel everything, but without dwelling long enough to get stuck.

It’s an authentic way to experience and honor every feeling and release them so you can find relief.

Here’s how:

1. When big emotions surface, take a mental step back to observe how you feel and why.
2. Let the feelings wash over you. Do what you need to help them pass fully through you. For example, laugh, dance, sing, journal, paint, kickbox. Harness that passion and apply it to the task or craft at hand.
3. Watch the emotions recede. By giving yourself the grace to fully experience what you feel in the moment, the emotional tide will eventually go out.
4. Enjoy the feeling of being in balance.

Let me know how it goes! Share your thoughts and experiences.