Have you ever had a friend who seemed to attract bad luck? I had a buddy we joked was a “vortex for bad $h!t.” He was the kind of guy who would get into a wreck driving his new car off the lot. No matter what he did, it seemed like there was a cloud hanging over his head. Bad energy was attracted to whatever he was projecting.

I had the recent pleasure of catching up with him and was delighted to find the cloud had vanished. His life had calmed, and instead of bad luck, he was basking in blessings.

What happened?

We project our worries into the world.

Twenty years ago, this friend had difficulty seeing the good in people or the world around him. He often said people and things were out to get him, and he joked he deserved it. When bad things happened, like friends taking advantage of him, that aligned with this script in his head. Everything unlucky confirmed his dim view of the world.

​Confirmation bias leads us to believe evidence that confirms our beliefs and discard what does not. As a result, we tend to create echo chambers, seeking guidance, information, and comfort from sources that reinforce what we already think we know, reducing the likelihood that our worldview will be challenged.

This feels safe, but it’s false security. There is no growth without challenge. No knowledge without discovery. And echo chambers stifle both.

If our projections are overly sunny, we may exist in a bubble. However, if we believe our world is a scary, negative place, then we may get stuck in a vortex of bad $h!t. Neither state is healthy.

Our behavior reflects our mental state.

There’s a reason why getting rid of clutter in our homes feels good. Decluttering improves mental clarity and instills a sense of peace and relaxation. Physically, it’s also an exercise in letting things go.

When we declutter, we intentionally choose what we want to surround ourselves with and what we want to release. It’s an exercise that sets boundaries, intentions, and makes space for us to breathe.

Feeling overwhelmed and filled with anxiety? That’s when our decision-making skills suffer. The best thing to do is to stop everything and focus on calming our minds and bodies—something that can be achieved by controlled breathing, meditation or other coping strategies. But we often do the opposite: we act impulsively, going into fight-or-flight mode.

Thoughts become things.

Reconnecting with an old friend is always a joy. But discovering they’re enjoying life is even more exciting.

My friend no longer attracts bad luck for three significant reasons.

1. He believes he deserves better from life. He’s no longer projecting or manifesting the opposite.
2. His circle of friends is cultivated according to their actions and interests. If they’re positive, creative, supportive and community-minded, he seeks them out. The negative, destructive friends who used to orbit him are gone.
3. My friend got clear about the kind of work he will and will not do. This focus brings his actions into further alignment with what he values, creating a harmony that didn’t used to be a part of his life.

Challenge: Identify what you’re reflecting or projecting

The first step to changing any behavior or situation is noticing that it’s happening. So let’s do a diagnostic.

1. Are there any areas of your life in which you feel trapped? Set a timer for 10-15 minutes and freewrite about what they are and why you feel trapped.
2. How do you want to feel? What would make your life better? Set a timer for 10-15 minutes to freewrite on that.
3. Read over what you’ve written. What kind of mental shift might be required to move you from feeling trapped to being more expansive? What do you want to reflect or project into the world?
4. What is one thing you could think, speak aloud, or do that would get you closer to living the way you want?

That’s your challenge.

Let me know how it goes! Share your thoughts and experiences by commenting below or tag @trulykristi on social channels. 🙂