Three blind men in the same room were asked to describe the animal living there.​

The first took hold of a long, skinny piece of flesh. He insisted the animal he touched was similarly shaped.

The second wrapped his arms around a leg so vast that he reported grappling with a dinosaur-sized creature. 

Writhing coils ensnared the hands of the third. “I’m holding a snake!” he asserted.

Three very different truths were born from a single experience: touching an elephant. 

But the men weren’t lying. 

Their individual experiences shaped what they perceived was true.

More than one truth can exist at the same time.

We like to think of truth as absolute and never-changing. But, as my friend and conflict navigation coach ​Deb Nathan points out​, we create truth in relation to others. 

We co-create truth in our families, religious communities, and among our friends and colleagues. ​

But what we call the truth may be as incomplete as that of the blind men’s.

That’s not a failure of faith. That’s just the limitation of what we can deduce from our lived experience.

In isolation, our perception of the truth is one-sided.

That doesn’t keep us from clinging to our professed truth or trying to convince everyone that we only know what’s true, however.

When we do this, we’re like one of the blind men.

In America, we constantly receive reports from blind men who can’t agree on what’s true. Rather than engaging in dialogue that might reveal the common elephant in the room, in all its complexity, they seem to revel in endless conflict.

If we want to escape that destructive echo chamber, there’s a way to navigate conflict that allows us to build bridges of understanding.

Constructive dialogue involves giving free rein to our curiosity and approaching others without judgment.

When we are confronted with beliefs that conflict with our own, we don’t have to reject them out of hand. 

We can approach the other party with curiosity. We can ask clarifying questions.

That doesn’t mean we have to change our minds or agree. 

It means we’re willing to remain open to the possibility of multiple truths.

If we stay open, we may learn something new that enriches our understanding of our friends, neighbors, loved ones, and the world we share.

If we remain closed to new ideas, however, we risk creating irreconcilable differences and rifts in our families and communities that are difficult to heal.​

Engaging with people who don’t share our perception of truth doesn’t mean we must change our minds or beliefs.

We can still seek to understand where they’re coming from without giving up our moral center.

We can engage in open-ended dialogue without needing to agree.

The beauty of our intelligence is that it can consider more than one truth at a time. 

When we allow our intelligence to consider more than one truth at a time, the world and our relationships become richer and more peaceful.

So, don’t fear complexity.

Engage your curiosity and open your mind. 

That’s your challenge.

Let me know how it goes! Share your thoughts and experiences by commenting below or tagging me @trulykristi on social channels. 🙂